Nine Characters in Search of a Wake
Scene III
The Crime in the Park

The Panel Play
Panel & Characters
The Claybill
The Text - introduction
  Scene I
  Scene II
  Scene III
  Scene IV
  Scene V
  Scene VI

[lights on]

But a baser meaning has been read into these characters the literal sense of which decency can safely scarcely hint. [33.14-15]  [addressing HCE, and pointing to him]  HCE, why did you fall? what brought about that tragoady thundersday - this municipal sin business? [5.13-14]

[protesting] Slander!  [stuttering] Slander!

            [snidely] It has been blurtingly bruited by certain wisecrackers in the nightplots of the morning that Earwicker lay under the ridiculous imputation of annoying Welsh fusiliers in the people's park. [33.15-34.1]

            Truth, beard on prophet, compels one to add that there is said to have been some case of the kind implicationg, HCE, stambuling haround Dumbaling in leaky sneakers one happygogusty Ides-of-April morning.

[innocently] Rumor has it he behaved with ongentilmensky immodus opposite a pair of dainty maidservants in the Phoenix Park.  [34.3-22]

But the Peeping Tom was peeped on; the fusiliers peeped on him, while he peeped on them, while they - it's said - were [through cupped hand in stage whisper] peeing.

[all poke heads through holes and all together exclaim with sharp intake of breath in horror; then quickly shout out imprecations]
Yellow Whigger!

Swad Puddlefoot!

Yass We've Had His Badannas!

Hoary Hairy Hoax!

Russian General
Vee was a Vindner!

Sower Rapes!

Easyathic Phallusaphist!

[with exaggerated feeling] To anyone who knew and loved the christlikeness of the big cleanminded giant H.C. Earwicker throughout his excellency long vicefreegal existence the mere suggestion of him as a lustsleuth nosing for trouble in a boobytrap rings particularly preposterous. [33.28-32]

            [ruefully] Who but Crippled-with-Children would speak up for Dropping-with-Sweat? [102.29-30]

[with great seriousness, in stentorian tone, getting faster toward the end]  You, Humphry Climpton Earwicker, also known as HCE; also known as Here Comes Everybody; also known as Adam; as Lucifer (and all who fell), as King Mark, as Finn Macool, as Oscar Wilde; as Oedipus; as Lear (and all ruined kings); as Noah; as Bacchus; as Arthur Guinness and Sons (and all purveyors of strong drink) as Moses; as Daedalus; as Ulysses; as Parnell; as King Arthur; as the Duke of Wellington; as Lewis Carroll; as Julius Caesar . . [Glasheen, Third Census]

[interrupting triumphantly]
And soon to be Humpty Dumpty!

are charged with a first offence which was admittedly an incautious but, at its wildest, a partial exposure with such attenuating circumstances. [34.25-27]

With his broad and hairy face, to Ireland a disgrace.

            I am woo woo willing to take my stand, sir, that sign of our ruru redemption, any hygienic day and to make my hoath to my sinnfinners, even if I get life for it, upon the Open Bible and before theGreat Taskmaster's (I lift my hat!) and in the presence of the Deity Itself and my immediate withdwellers and of every living sohole in every corner wheresoever of this globe in general which useth of my British to my backbone tongue that there is not one tittle of truth, allow me to tell you, in that purest of fibfib fabrications. [36.23-34]

Cleftfoot from Hempal must tumpel, Blamefool Gardener's bound to fall; Broken Eggs will poursuive bitten Apples for where theirs is Will there's his Wall.[175.17-20]

[in a flat official-sounding tone] By reverendum they found him guilty of those imputations of fornicolopulation with two of his albowcrural correlations on whom he was said to have enjoyed by anticipation when schooling them for their first conjugation.  But, if really 'twere not so, of some deretane denudation with intent to excitation, caused by his retrogradation, among firearmed forces proper to this nation. [557.13-  ]

[compassionately] But apart from all titillation he insists upon being worthy of continued alimentation for him having displayed such grand toleration for denying transubstantiation. [557.23-29]

[continuing in official tone]  Nevertheless in respect of his highpowered station, we think, with Sully, there can be no right extinuation for contravention of common and statute legislation for which the fit remedy is corporal amputation. So, [pause] three months for the frothwhiskered pest of the park, as per act one, section two, schedule three, clause four of the fifth of King Jark, this sentence to be carried out tomorrowmorn by Nolans Volans at six o'clock shark, and may the yeastwind and the hoppinghail malt mercy on his seven honeymeads and his hurlyburlygrowth, Amen. [557.13-558.20]

[lights out; sound of breaking glass and strobe light]


[lights back on]

Have you heard of one Humpty Dumpty
How he fell with a roll and a rumble
And curled up like Lord Olofa Crumple
By the butt of the Magazine Wall,

Of the Magazine Wall,

Hump, helmet and all?

[end of Scene III]

<<<<<<<<<to Scene II---------to Scene IV>>>>>>>>>

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